The Cynic’s Guide to Dream Guides

Dream Guides

When someone refers to dream guides. They’re referring to one of two things. In one reference, a dream guide is a dream dictionary. These are books that mention symbols that are commonly found in dreams and what they mean. We discussed this in a previous blog entry on the subject of Why We Dream.

The other type of dream guide is an “other worldly” being or spirit who meets up with you in your dreams and guides you through your dreams. They may answer questions, provide more questions, explain the meaning of things, or open metaphorical doors for you. This blog entry is about that kind of dream guide.

When I was reading up about this, one question kept coming to mind. Why am I so important that some being or spirit who can act independent of the space-time continuum would want to talk to me and guide me through my dreams? I never found an answer as to why my dreams would be so important as to necessitate the attention of such a powerful being.

The Function of Dream Guides

Dream guides are reported to “provide answers when you are ready for them” while at the same time “provide information years before you can understand what it means”.

Great. Isn’t that lovely? I’m going to get the answers I seek from my dream guide when I’m ready for them even if that’s years before I understand it. How can both of those be simultaneously true?

Dream guides “prepare you to receive information”.

What does this mean? How does someone prepare to receive information? Do you open your e-mail client? Maybe the dream guide gives you some kind of metaphorical mailbox.

Dream guides will provide answers if we’re patient enough. We may not hear the answer, recognize the answer when we get it, or like the answer, but an answer is always provided.

Isn’t that convenient? Let’s try substituting a few words and see if this makes sense. A cow will always provide milk if we wait long enough. We may not see the milk. We might not recognize the given substance as milk. We may not even like the milk, but there will be milk.

Video games taught us that cake was a lie. I’m beginning to suspect the milk is a lie too. This seems to cover all the bases. If you don’t get an answer, you either need to wait longer or look harder. Since you might not recognize or like your answer then anything could be an answer.

This is why I like clocks. Clocks are clocks. They tell the time. They don’t hide time under cryptic “if you think hard enough you will know” crap. They have clear numbers and clear hands that point to the numbers except for some fancy and artistic ones. Digital clocks have a clean and clear readout.

By this point I was asking myself another question. If dream guides are these beings who apparently know a lot of answers, why are they always cryptic? Why can’t a dream guide lead me to a coffee bar, give me a latte, and say, “Look, you need so and so and this and that.” If this being knows so much, how come it doesn’t know plain English?

How to Recognize a Dream Guide

Dream guides are not always human. They might be animals or anything else. If a “figure” or “theme” keeps coming up in your dreams, that “figure” or “theme” might really be your dream guide.

This is just wonderful. I may not recognize the answer from my dream guide and I may not recognize the dream guide itself. To summarize, I’ll get answers I won’t recognize from a source I won’t recognize.

How to Get a Dream Guide

Based upon the information I’ve gathered, not everyone gets a dream guide, but after one is experienced with dream guides they may be able to call one.

If I get enough practice, I can call forth a being that operates beyond the constraints of the space-time continuum. Wouldn’t Scotty be amazed? (That’s a Star Trek reference by the way.) I had no idea I was that powerful.

Dream Guides = New Age Snake Oil

When I was researching the subject of dream guides, one question kept coming to mind.

Why am I so important that some being or spirit who can act independent of the space-time continuum would want to talk to me and guide me through my dreams? Last time I checked, I didn’t rule a country. Heck, I’m not even the ruler of my own house. I’m lord and master of “yes, dear” and few other things you people don’t need to know about. I never found an answer as to why my dreams would be so important as to necessitate the attention of such a powerful being as a Dream Guide (first letters capitalized to show I mean the big mucky-mucks).

To summarize again, I’ll get answers that I won’t understand from a being I won’t recognize that might not actually be there, but if I work hard enough then I can call forth a being that I won’t recognize. Anyone else confused?

How is any of this useful?

Maybe someone who understands this better will explain it to me in the comments.

Until next time, I’ll be carefully avoiding the unknown bull****.

Tags: charlatans, clocks, dream dictionary, dream guide, dream guides, dreams, function of dreams, new age, Sleep, snake oil