Your New Job as Human Alarm Clock

We all know that times are tough right now. Unemployment offices are having problems coping with the large numbers of new applicants pouring in all the time. People are losing their jobs at an ever-increasing rate.

That’s why, as a public service, the Online Alarm Clock website would like to inform you about the exciting new career opportunity of working as a Human Alarm Clock.

That’s right, you don’t need years of retraining or a brand new degree. You don’t need any kind of license, certificate or diploma. You just need the ability to make an alarming noise and shake a non-moving human body into wakefulness.

Yes, if you meet these basic requirements, you can go right out and immediately begin your new job as a Human Alarm Clock.

We have selected two informational videos to introduce you to this exciting new career field.

First, we have an insightful documentary from someone who has many years’ experience working as a professional Human Alarm Clock. If you are thinking about working in this new career field, we urge you to study this video closely; please consider taking notes:

Don’t be mislead by the previous video, however, into thinking that your new job as a Human Alarm Clock will always be easy. The following video, from someone who works as a Human Alarm Clock via telephone, highlights some of the possible pitfalls that may stand in the way of your successful career. We urge you to pay close attention to the following video and commit as many of these facts to memory as possible:

Although we, at OnlineClock, gladly join hands to promote the exciting new career field of Human Alarm Clock, and hope that this career information will aid America in its current time of financial crisis, we truly hope that, if you do decide to pursue this exciting new career, you will be prepared for a long and grueling process of training and daily practice. Indeed, long bouts of training and practice will be required in order for you to attain the lofty heights of becoming a successful and accomplished Human Alarm Clock that everyone will admire.

To the future Human Alarm Clocks of this world: we salute you!

It will be a difficult road ahead for you.

You will experience the occasional broken spring in the clockwork that is life.

But, some day, if you are diligent, you will attain the level of professionalism that will make people proud to be awakened by you. You will then, upon your retirement, be able to look back and say, “Yes. I was a darn good alarm clock. Bbbbrrrrring. Bbbbrrinnng.”

==> But not nearly as good as us.

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