Online Clock Operating System
The Official Logo of the Clockux Linux Distribution Project
Yes, Fans, we at OnlineClock have a massively important piece of news for you all! This is something we’ve been keeping a secret for a long time, just waiting for the appropriate time to make our official announcement.
Most of you have surely already heard Google’s groundbreaking announcement that it will be releasing its own Chrome Operating System.
Not wanting to be outdone by a small company like Google, Online Clock has long been in stealth planning for the release of its own Operating System!
The Online Clock Operating System is to be tentatively called Clockux, and it will be based on the wildly popular Ubuntu Linux Distribution.
It’s planned that Online Clock’s new O.S., or Clockux, as it will be called, will ultimately be hosted and made available for download at the new domain www.clockux.com.
Although development of Clockux has been officially referred to by the makers of OnlineClock.net as in the “pre pre pre pre pre pre pre Alpha” stage, a few details have been leaked to us by Michael Arrington of TechCrunch fame regarding the features already planned for this innovative and new computer operating system!
Planned Details of Clockux, the Online Alarm Clock O.S.:
- The new Operating System will prominently feature: a Clock
- An alarm function will be fully integrated
- Users will be able to use a native alarm clock application directly within the GUI!
- The pre-installed Firefox browser will be set to OnlineClock.net as its start page
- A small clock application will be featured on the desktop
- Links to an Online Alarm Clock will be made easily accessible throughout the entire O.S.
- For simplicity’s sake, there will be no choice of alarm sound
- The new Operating System will prominently feature: a Clock (or did we mention that already?)
If you’re like us, you’re probably licking your lips with anticipation right now after reading the planned Feature Set of Clockux above – Boy, what an Operating System!
And now, as this blog post’s Pieste de Résistance, we’ve even managed to bribe the cleaning service that cleans the offices at OnlineClock.net into selling us this special first sneak screenshot of “pre pre pre pre pre pre pre Alpha” Clockux in action:
However, we’re sorry to inform you, Clock Fans, that you’ll probably have to wait a bit before getting your hands on your own copy of the Clockux Distribution for testing.
After numerous attempts to contact members of the highly secret development team of the Clockux Distro, we finally got one of the anonymous programmers on the phone and asked him when we can expect to test the first Beta Version of Clockux.
The Clockux Programmer revealed to us the following, in between taking bites of his morning breakfast of cold, leftover Pizza:
…Operating System? Uh, like, Clockux is actually just a silly inside joke for all of us who work at OnlineClock.net. There is no Online Clock Operating System. Online Clock is just, like,…a clock, dude.
We were devastated.
We threw our phone down in disgust and went to the corner to get a Latte.
[ Disclaimer for the intellectually challenged: this particular blog post is a parody. Online Clock is currently not really planning on releasing its own Linux Distribution. We have attempted to be humorous here. Have a nice day.]
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- Published:
- 07.16.09 / 8pm
- Category:
- Online Clock Press Releases
The Online Alarm Clock
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