Thermal Nuclear Alarm Clock

Hey Clock Fans:

It’s been some time since we’ve devoted an entire blog post to a crazy clock that we’ve discovered. But we recently found a crazy alarm clock that we just can’t avoid writing about.

Ladies and Germs, we give you: The Thermal Nuclear Alarm Clock:

As you can see, someone definitely has too much time on their hands…combined with a very sick sense of humor. But still, we’re strangely impressed and wanted to share with you someone’s (twisted) vision of the ultimate alarm clock.

Mankind started with water-based clocks, then moved on to mechanical clocks, and then to battery-powered clocks, and even to online alarm clocks…so the next logical progression seems to be, yes indeed, a thermonuclear alarm clock.

We think that users of the thermonuclear alarm clock will certainly be highly motivated to turn off the alarm before it reaches critical mass.

Just to be on the safe side, we won’t be using one in our homes any time soon. And don’t even think about trying to take one of these with you to the airport on your next flight to visit the grandparents.

Moving right along on the theme of nuclear, atomic and ka-boom, we have another crazy poem from our years as struggling middle-class English majors in college (yes, it was a hard life, and we were deprived of deprivations the entire time, but somehow…we got through it, though we have this strange habit of always referring to ourselves in the plural).

So without any further yabba-yabba, here is a beautiful poem written by the creator of OnlineClock.net entitled, “The Lonely Atom”:

The Lonely Atom

There once was this friendly little atom named Dave.

But Dave was a lonely, lonely little atom, because he didn’t know any other atoms and he didn’t have any friends.

So Dave decided to place a classified ad in the Sunday paper.

And the ad he placed there read: “LONELY ELECTRON SEEKS NEUTRONS AND/OR POSITRONS FOR SOLID MOLECULAR BONDING.”
After running this ad in the Sunday paper for twelve consecutive weeks without getting even a single response, Dave the lonely atom went and split himself in two out of despair.

As a result, thousands of people died in Cleveland, Ohio…and hundreds of square miles were contaminated by radioactive fallout for a very long time.
So–if you ever meet a lonely atom in a bar…buy him a f***ing drink.

Well, didn’t that just bring tears to your eyes?

Believe it or not, there was a time and a place, back in the early 1990s in San Francisco’s Mission District, that this little ditty was highly esteemed in that city’s “Open Mic” or bad poetry circuit.

(Anyone remember the Chameleon club on Valencia Street? Bucky Sinister, are you still breathing?)

Anyway, that was a galaxy far, far away…and now we’ll leave this atomic-themed blog post with a related video showing someone’s hobby version of an atomic bomb, constructed in their very own backyard, just for fun: