Here at the headquarters of the world’s most popular internet alarm clock we love to keep you informed regarding the hottest innovations in alarm clock technology.
That’s why we’re so proud to have discovered the stunning new invention which we’ve simply named:
The Amazing Wind Up Alarm Clock.
Here’s a Question:
- How cool would it be to have an alarm clock that doesn’t need electricity?
- How nifty would it be to have an alarm clock that doesn’t need batteries??
- How spiffy would it be to have an alarm clock that doesn’t even require an internet connection??!
I know, you’re probably doubtful that such an invention truly exists…we were, too, at first. But yes, it’s true: such an invention does exist. Read on to learn more.
The inventors of the Wind Up Alarm Clock have produced an eco-friendly alarm clock which doesn’t need batteries, electricity, or even an internet connection to work. These facts have been independently verified by a team of unknown experts from an unnnamed foreign country. They have been published multiple times in scientific journals which even college science professors find too boring to read. Finally, we’ve even discovered an article on this subject in an old copy of the Weekly World News, so you know we’re telling the truth.
All you have to do, in order to use this wild new kind of alarm clock is to wind it up, using the lever on the back. Apparently it operates using some kind of ingenious spring device which causes the clock’s gears to rotate. To the best of our knowledge, nuclear fission is not involved in this process.
There are many rumors in certain circles that the Wind Up Alarm Clock actually uses alien technology which the United States government obtained in exchange for allowing aliens to conduct breeding experiments with the Dallas Cowboys’ Cheerleaders. As of the time this article was published, however, such claims remain unconfirmed.
Regarding the alarm clock device itself, one of the main advantages of the Wind Up Alarm Clock is: it makes a constant ticking sound, which can be used to lull your cat to sleep.
One of the main disadvantages of the Wind Up Alarm Clock is: it makes a constant ticking sound.
For the purposes of this article we have dismantled such a Wind Up Alarm Clock, just to see how it works. (No amount of selfless toil is too much, as long as it benefits you, dear reader.) The following video will give you a better idea of how this revolutionary new piece of alarm clock technology functions:
As you can see, the latest technology is indeed making the world a better place!
We at Online Clock urge you to immediately abandon your electricity and to stop driving your cars.
Meat can be eaten raw.
We no longer need useless inventions such as fire or the wheel, either.
Television can be replaced by board games.
Is this your vision of the world of tomorrow?
Then please don’t use our site.